LONG WEEKEND

I had a long weekend. I am really tired!! Things haven't really gotten any better. He has been drinking and smoking pot even more. I haven't saw him so he hasn't had a chance to beat on me for a while. However, he is coming over today and I don't really want to see him. The last bruise he gave me isn't completely gone yet. My mom keeps asking me where it cam from... I have yet to give her the truthful answer. I don't know how I could tell her with out her getting mad. I don't think any teenager wants to tell their mom that their boyfriend has been hitting her. There is no way to break the news easy.

I grew up where my mom got beat all of the time and she just let it happen. She didn't do anything about it. I always said if it ever happened to me I would leave the person I was with. I guess I lied to myself for all of those years. Look at me now, I haven't left him yet. I don't think I can. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him now!

I am so lost in all the world that I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want anymore. I need help... or do I? May be I am normal... maybe he is the one who needs help!!

~ Confused XxXLoSeRcHiCkXxX